Adoption

Whine Time

One of the most annoying things children do is to whine. You may notice this behavior starting around age three, and it may continue in abundance until age 10 or so. If you’re not careful, you may raise a whiny kid that grows up into a petulant young adult.

Whining is bad enough around the house, but it’s even worse out in public. What’s a parent to do?

• Realize that whining is a typical childish behavior – it comes naturally. It’s especially common when the child is tired, bored, frustrated, reluctant to do something they don’t want to do, or feels ignored.

• From the first whine, make it clear that whining is not an acceptable form of communication. Tell the child that you have trouble understanding them when they whine and request that they make their wishes known in a normal voice. Let the child know that anything they ask for in a whine will not be given, and follow through on your threat. If you give in, you’re teaching the child that whining works.

• Point out that they are whining. A tired or frustrated child may not realize what they’re doing. You might say something like, “You’re whining. If you want to talk to me, use your polite voice.”

• If they continue moaning, tell them you can’t hear them when they use that tone, or that it hurts your ears and you’re closing off your hearing, and then ignore them. It will require stamina, but after a time they’ll eventually realize their whining is having no effect on you.

• If you’ve reached the breaking point, put the child in another room or in their bedroom. Tell them they can continue whining all they want as long as it’s not in your presence.

• Give consequences for unwanted behavior. If they don’t stop whining they may lose a privilege or a favorite toy might be taken away.

Filed Under: Adoption Tagged With: Whine

Sneaking Fruits and Veggies into the Kids’ Meals

Some kids love fruits and vegetables from their very first mouthful of baby food. Others make funny faces and spit out their mashed yams and pureed peas.

For the first type of child, it can be great fun giving them finely chopped baby carrots, bananas and apples to pick up with their little fingers and stuff into their mouth. But it can be a desperate struggle with the second type of kid – cajoling, bribing, and threatening them to eat fruits and vegetables.

One of the latest fads is to trick kids into eating healthy foods. All you need is a peeler, a knife, a good blender and some creativity.

For example, let’s say you’re making spaghetti sauce. Brown the ground beef and add the tomato sauce, as usual. Then, peel and cut up several carrots, mince a green pepper, string and chop some celery stalks and get out your package of flax seed. Put these in a blender with a little bit of water and it will turn into a moist pulp. Add it into your spaghetti sauce and stir it well so the vegetables and flax seed blend in with the beef mixture. The kids will ladle the sauce over their spaghetti noodles, sprinkle parmesan cheese on top and eat it without knowing the difference. But you’ll know they’re getting nutrients, fiber and vitamins from the hidden vegetables you’ve added.

Here’s another one. Puree a sweet potato and an apple and stir them into your pancake batter, then cook up some pancakes. If you prefer scrambled eggs for breakfast, add a half cup of cauliflower puree to the eggs, mix well, then pour them onto your skillet and stir them frequently until they’re done.

You can puree just about any fruit or vegetable and add them to your recipes. Try to match your “secret” ingredients with the foods you’re making or the kids will notice the food is a different color than normal.

Filed Under: Adoption Tagged With: Vegetable

Accepting and Nurturing a Child – Get Your Child Involved!

As a parent, identifying with your child is a very important responsibility. Moreover, it is vital to be able to nurture and care for your child in the right manner. Along with these important standards that form part of the bond between a parent and child, realizing your child’s interests – and acting on them – is very important.

Interests that your child finds and develops throughout the course of his or her life are extremely vital. As a parent, you have a hand in this, where you can expose your child to certain aspects that will prove valuable as your child grows up.

Take for example an individual that is naturally analytic. At an early age, your child could be interested in science, perhaps, or develop a love for the game of chess. A chess board or microscope could be a great way for your child to explore not only these interests, but in that of developing skills that will help them in school and in life. If they’re too young to have a microscope, you might consider getting them a magnifying glass.

Creativity is another area that can be demonstrated at a young age. Certainly, those that go on to have music or acting in their career – or even at least in their interests – later in life show this interest at an early age for many. You could build a stage in your home if there is room and then purchase kids costumes for your child to perform, which is always a favorite for young ones (in fashion and dressing up!).

Of course, these are just a small fragment of ways to nurture your child according to their interests. Pay attention to how your child responds to music, the arts, science, and other areas of life. You could find something that your child will develop and love for the rest of his or her life.

Filed Under: Adoption Tagged With: Adoption, Child, Childcare, Children Youth and Family, Daycare, Family, Home, Parent

Adoptions and Taxes

When you adopt a new baby, there is a lot that changes in your life. You have to child proof your home (and forget about having anything breakable around for the next ten years or so), you need to stop having late parties…and you have to change how you file your taxes. While most parents do not think a whole lot about how their tax situation changes when they take on a new member of their family, this is something that can make a big difference to your financial situation, and thus to your ability to give your new child everything that they are going to need. After all, every dollar counts in those first few years. Children are unbelievably expensive, after all.

If you pay attention to the latest tax news, you know that you can actually get a tax credit of up to $12,000, if your child has special needs. Of course, this credit requires that you paid all of the adoption costs yourself, out of pocket. For a non-special needs child, it only goes up to fifty percent of the total amount that you spent. But of course, as we just talked about, every little bit counts. Now, tax credits are not the only ways that adopting a child can be partially subsidized by Uncle Sam. The other way can just be a little bit trickier.

Remember that in some states, there is an additional level of deduction which you can claim for being the head of the household. In order to do this, you had better consult an accountant in order to be certain that all of the requirements are met. With that deduction coupled with the tax credit, your new child is still going to be expensive. But at least you can put more of your money toward buying your child nice things, instead of handing it all over to the government. That makes two small blessings in your life.

Filed Under: Adoption Tagged With: Adoption, Tax, Tax credit

Breaking the Cycle of Bullying

Bullying and violence are two major issues that are plaguing our children’s schools. No matter what a school administration does or what rules they seem to come up with the issue of bullying seems to be getting worse and worse as the years go on. The issue is so extreme that many celebrities have recently taken on the topic of bullying in schools. The most recent celebrity was that of Mark Ecko, the designer of the hip hop clothing line Ecko. Here is a brief overview of his opinion on bullying, violence and the school system.

Mark Ecko believes that the cycle of violence and hostility that America’s children face is directly related to the school environment that administrators and teachers create through the use of corporal punishment. In many states it is still legal to hit children when they are in school as a form of punishment. This type of punishment instills fear and intimidation among many of the children in the school. That fear of punishment has to be channeled somewhere and the children channel it against each other through the form of bullying and violence. After all, it is what they witness in the classroom on a daily basis.

To tackle the issue of bullying, harassment and violence, Mark Ecko believes that the school administration needs to start with itself. They need to work together to form a school administration that deals with punishments for children and students on a non-corporal punishment level. The example has to start somewhere. If students see the school dealing with its issues of bullying and harassment of children, they can then start to work on their own issues of bullying and harassment. Eventually the cycle has to be broken, and Mark Ecko believes that it starts with the school administrative staff.

Filed Under: Adoption Tagged With: Bullying, Cyber-bullying

Social Media Helps Find Mama

Social media and other internet tools are turning the adoption world upside down. With more than 600 million people on Facebook, as well as YouTube and other high volume websites, adopted children and birth parents are successfully utilizing technology to find each other.

With a small piece of information people are able to track each other down. Some are creating videos for YouTube or posting blogs in search of a relative. It’s easier than ever before to find resources, assistance and information that will lead to results.

For some, there is a joyful and welcome reunion, but in other cases, the sudden appearance of a long-lost child or parent may have negative consequences. Sometimes a parent is not truthful about the circumstances of giving up the child, such as parental substance abuse or imprisonment, or the neglect or abuse of the child. The child probably doesn’t know that protective services removed them from the home because their health or life was in danger. Some birth parents and adult children seek to exploit their relatives while the unsuspecting victim is only looking for love or connection. Or a birth mother may have begun a new life and prefers to keep her past in the past.

Whatever the case, protections and safeguards traditionally offered by adoption agencies are being circumvented by these internet searches.

Reconnecting with biological relatives can have a huge impact on the adoptive parents, the children, birth parents, siblings and a multitude of other kin. When someone can find their birth parents in a 24–hour period using the internet, they may satisfy a burning curiosity but not be emotionally prepared for what comes next.

The decision to pursue children given up for adoption or to find birth parents should be done for the right reasons and after carefully considering the consequences.

Many are happy with their lives and don’t feel the need to seek out a child or parent just because they can.

Filed Under: Adoption Tagged With: Social Media

The Adjustment of Adopting An Older Child

: Image via Wikipedia

When adopting a newborn, the blueprint to care has been laid out through the years. There are feedings, diaper changes, and general love and care. In some ways it is easier for the adoptive parents because the child is not at an age where they can communicate their thoughts, feelings and more importantly fears. But adopting a child of a older age (thinking 6 through 11) can be a stressful adjustment period.

The child is coming into an environment where they are not comfortable. They are looking to be accepted and are coming from personal issues of abandonment and not feeling wanted. Putting this all together in one instance can create a very difficult adjustment period. Kids, not alike to one another, will react in a multitude of ways. Dealing with those reactions, and trying to get through that awkward adjustment, will be key to getting on with the family building that needs to take place.

When filing income taxes there is there is the free efile which can make the process a breeze. When dealing with that adjustment period, there is no quick fix. This is why patience must be practiced overall. There is nothing that will help the situation in a matter of minutes. Children must take time to get used to the fact that they are welcome and wanted within the home. The parent can simply be kind and wait out the awkward phase.

This, of course, means that the adoptive parents cannot take it personally when a child will not want to participate in a family outing or activity. There will be a time and a place where the parent will need to force the issue and make the child participate, but at that infancy stage of the adoption, it might be best to let it slide.

Filed Under: Adoption Tagged With: Adoption, Child, Parent

Preparing Your Home for an Adopted Child

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When you are in the middle of the adoption process, it is easy to forget about preparing your home for your adopted child. It is, however, important to take some time out and truly get your home ready for the child’s arrival. This will help make the transition easier for the adopted child, your other children and you.

Buying Clothes for Your Adopted Child

Depending on your new child’s age, he or she might already have developed an individual sense of style. If that child has, then try to conform to that style when purchasing clothes for his or her closet. If she or he likes a hip-hop style of dress, then try purchasing clothes from companies such as Ecko. This will not only give your adopted child new clothes that he or she will love, but also show that you are welcoming him or her as a new member of the family. You have to show adopted children that you accept them as they are rather than force them to conform to your expectations.

Buying Toys for Your Adopted Child

Before purchasing toys for your adopted child, talk to the adoption agency to determine whether he or she has any favorites. This will make it much easier for you to choose the right types of toys. A child’s interests can vary greatly, so don’t be surprised to find out that the child like books as much as Lego blocks.

Stocking the Child’s Favorite Foods

Fixing the child’s favorite dinner is a good way to welcome him or her to your home. You should also stock up on some of his or her favorite snacks. Imagine how intimidating it would be to move in with a new family. That’s how your adopted child will feel. Now imagine how much better the transition would be if the new family tried to accommodate you by offering your favorite foods.

Filed Under: Adoption Tagged With: Adoption, Family, United States

Why Adopt a Child with Special Needs

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When it comes to adopting a child, most parents want children who are perfectly healthy in every way. Caring for a special needs child can be stressful, take a lot of time and money, and depending on the disability, may mean caring for that child the rest of his or her life. So why do some parents choose to adopt a child who has special needs?

Cost

For some, being a parent is the most important thing and an adoption of a special needs child is often easier and less expensive. Because there aren’t as many couples looking for special needs children to adopt, there are many who are in the foster care system who are in need of parents. On top of that, many adoption agencies will either waive their fees or reduce the cost of the adoption. Adoptions through the foster care system are typically free as well.

Definitions of “Special Needs”

If you want to adopt an older child, some can qualify as special needs simply because of their age. For some programs, special needs children come with extra income through SSI (Social Security income), which can help deal with the financial difficulties of raising a child. This is also true for sibling groups of three or more. Children adopted out of the foster care system often have free medical coverage until they’re adults as well, so you never have to worry about having medical expenses, which is important if the child has a lot of health problems.

For the Love

Finally, one of the main reasons to adopt a child with special needs is for the love you receive. Many find that the love and care you give these special children is returned ten-fold. There’s something about serving a child and learning how to teach them that really opens your heart to just how special these children are. Many programs also offer additional training on how to raise these children and how to meet their specific needs. This training will help you grow as a parent and give you more insights into their circumstances so you can help.

Filed Under: Adoption Tagged With: Adoption, Child, Family, Parent

Tax Filing Just As Easy With A New Addition?

: Image by randomcuriosity via Flickr

The simplest forms of filing tax returns are when you are single and you have nothing to worry about. But once you have the new addition to your family, how you prepare your tax return is a lot different from your individual tax preparation. A new baby in the family means that you have a dependant you have to account for. Compared to the joy you feel with a baby, this process seems minuscule, but if you do not follow the guidelines and file your taxes with the proper information, you will not receive the additional financial benefits.

Throughout the year you will pay fewer taxes with a dependent. When you file your annual tax return as a family, you will receive additional monitory help from the government. This not only keeps your family records clear but with proper filing, you begin to develop a new record for your child. It is just as important for them as it is for you to file the proper taxes. Many parents often find the process difficult, without having the proper information available, they will not know what changes to make. Thanks to online support groups and accountants, you can do your own research and get all the information you need. Once you have the information you will feel a lot more comfortable knowing that you are providing the best possible service for your child’s future.

Taxes do not have to be stressful. If you are comfortable tackling the filing process on your own, try to find the best software available to you. For those who prefer someone a little more knowledgeable, you always have the option of working with an accountant or tax specialist. A simple online search will provide you with individual tax preparation options.

Filed Under: Adoption Tagged With: Dependant, Filing (legal), Tax