Steps to End a Semi-Open Adoption

July 6, 2011 By Leave a Comment
Baby-global

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In some semi-open adoption situations, it may become necessary to close that relationship. Whether it is that the relationship is in someway harmful to the child, or some reason, if it is in the best interest of the child, you should close the adoption. This is not a decision to be entered in lightly, as the birth mother was ensured a semi-open adoption. However, here are the steps you may need to follow for closing the adoption.

Make a list of the reasons for this closure. Be sure to outline why this is the best choice for the child.

Closely examine your reasoning for this action. Make sure that the action is necessary. You will need to justify why you are breaking the open adoption agreement with the birth mother.

Consider any available alternatives. For example, if correspondence from the birth mother could be harmful, you could state that you will no longer receive letters from her, however, you will still continue to send pictures and updates to here.

Talk over your decision with the adoption intermediary.

Send correspondence to the birth mother explaining your decision. If the decision is based on some action by the birth mother, explain what steps she can take to reverse the situation.

Stop all communications. Once the communication and correspondence ends, the adoption becomes a closed one.

Make sure that you explain your decision thoroughly to your child. Your child will naturally have some questions about your decisions, and you should be prepared to explain them.

Filed Under: Adoption, Family, Parenting Tagged With: , ,

The Final Adoption Processes

July 5, 2011 By Leave a Comment
Majlis Akikah & Cukur Rambut Razeeq Danish #248

Image by Roslan Tangah (aka Rasso) via Flickr

Adopting a child can be a long and arduous process. Both sets of parents — the birth parents and the adoptive parents — have worked closely to make sure that the adoption has followed all the correct guidelines and laws. When the papers are finalized and filed with the court, the process is one step closer to finality.

There are, however, some states that allow a period of time to pass where the birth parents can revoke the adoption, even after the papers are finalized. Even if the birth parents do revoke consent, this does not mean the child goes to the birth parents. In actuality, it just means that the process goes back to the court system. A judge will then make the determination as to the child’s placement.

The finalized papers are one part of the process; but many states have a detailed list or process that still needs to be completed. While this process — called a completion process — varies from state to state, adoptive parents should be prepared to follow more steps and processes, other than just signing on the bottom line.

Once the final papers are processed, the new parents need to file for a birth certificate for their new child.  This new certificate will have the adoptive parents as the adopted child’s legal parents. The majority of states require that parents apply for this new certificate immediately after the adoption is final.

After all the paperwork is filed and completed, signed and sealed, the next step is for the new parents and their child settle in and adjust to their new lives.

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Understanding Adoption Records

July 4, 2011 By Leave a Comment
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Some people think that adoption records are a strange and mysterious thing. Many of us also wonder what is included in these papers, as well as what their function is. Basically, these records contain all the paperwork regarding an adoption. These are the legal records of the adoption and are designed to protect everyone involved in the process. While controversial, most states have laws to keep these types of records sealed. This means that the public and even the people involved in the adoption cannot access these records.

During the adoption process, a judge will review the paperwork submitted to ensure that the law was followed correctly during parental termination and the granting of custody to the adoptive parents.

These records usually include items such as the original birth certificate of the child, information about both the birth and adoptive parents and records of the termination of parental rights. The records will also include the petition of adoption and the final adoption degree.

These records are put into place to try to make sure that all rights of all parties are protected. Birth parents should not have their parental rights taken away without the proper due process. Additionally, adoptive parents must be secure knowing that the adoption is forever and cannot be rescinded.

However, because so many of these records are seals, adult adoptees may not have access to the most basic information about themselves. This can be a detriment in some cases, such as background health conditions of birth parents that may be affecting the individual.

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How To Adopt A Child

June 29, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Adopting a child is life-changing decision that should have a lot of thought put into it. Adoption is a long and emotion process that will cost a lot of money, so a lot of planning has to go into it. Before you choose and adoption agency, you will need to consider what you want your child to be like. Think about things such as race, age, special needs, etc. It is important that you find the right agency that will help you find the child you are looking for.

After you have decided what you want your child to be like, you will then find an agency. Decide whether you want to go with a private or a public agency. Before you start working with an agency, ask for references and check their licenses. Also, ask about their fees. Public agencies will generally be cheaper than private ones. There are cases in which you can adopt without an agency.

Once you have chosen your agency, you will need to fill out an application. You will also need to have a home study. This is where someone will come into your home and evaluate you to see if you will be a good parent. This process will generally take several months. After it is finished, you will be ready to have a child. Make sure you know all of the laws in adopting and you have thought everything through. You will also need to make sure that you will have enough financial support for your child as well.

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Dealing With The Reaction Of Inter-Racial Adoption

May 22, 2011 By Leave a Comment
Couples 3 

Image by Photocapy via Flickr

In society today, there is a lot more acceptance of inter-racial marriage as well as inter-racial adoption, but sometimes you can still run into people that are just not nice.

When you are faced with a negative response from people about your choice to adopt a child from another race than your own, it is important to remember that it is just an opportunity to educate them about the meaning of love in a polite way, and that it is an issue that they are dealing with and not really yours.

Often, new adoptive parents are very sensitive to the negative comments made about their new child that they have struggled so hard to have in their lives. What other people think just really doesn’t matter, but it is important to deal with the issue head on for the sake of your child, who is likely to have to face it as well.

If someone asks why you did not choose a child of your own race, you can simply respond that you believe every child deserves to have a loving family and a good home life, and that you were willing to open up your heart and home to your child. Some people just need to learn the basic lesson that love is color blind. There are no geographical boundaries for love either. We love or we do not love, and it is a choice. Choosing to love your adoptive child as your own is the greatest choice that you have made for them in their life.

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Carefully Selecting an Adoption Agency

April 20, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Carefully Selecting an Adoption Agency

Deciding to adopt a child is a big decision and one that is not reached lightly. This having been said, deciding on an adoption agency is pain staking and warrants great time and effort, as well as significant research to determine which one has exactly what you need.

Doing Your Homework

Take some time to do your homework regarding the local adoption agencies. You can find a great deal of information online and can search for them through Canada 411. Once you find several that you are interested in, contact them by phone to ask a few basic questions and request some information be mailed to you regarding their facilities. They should be able to provide you with a variety of brochures that can offer you great information to start with about their facilities. This is a great way to start narrowing your options.

Once you have looked through all of the information it is a good idea to confirm with local authorities that the agency is legitimate. You will then, of course, want to schedule a time when you can go in and interview the staff and look over the facility before deciding to proceed with the process of adoption. Being prepared with a series of questions is a good way to keep on task and ensure that the agency is the appropriate fit for your needs. The agency should be able to easily answer all your questions and offer you some insight as to how the process will work in its facility.

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Adoption: What to do before starting the process

February 23, 2011 By Leave a Comment
Here we are with the judge, immediately after ...

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Congratulations, you made the decision to become an adoptive parent. However, before you find yourself with a baby in your arms and no preparation for the enormity of the situation stop and take note from the experts.

Things to consider before adoption:

  • Are you fully prepared to embrace adopting a child? If you have suffered with fertility issues and just want a baby, then you aren’t ready. Instead, if becoming a parent and the joys of parenthood are prevalent then the time is right.
  • Consider both international and domestic adoptions especially if you are single wanting to adopt or a same sex couple. Domestic adoptions are more successful for couples of a certain age and gender preference wishing to adopt as they are the predominant choices of birth mothers.
  • Decide if you want to go through an open or close adoption process. Open adoptions allow the birth parent to have access to your contract information and vice versa.
  • Understand the costs involved with adoption and look into tax credits and employer financial benefits.
  • Hire an adoption lawyer that specializes in adoption law to finalize the adoption.
  • Adopting an older child or one with medical issues can mean potential emotional and physical baggage.  Acknowledge the possible problems, become familiar with the issues, and prepare yourself for the future with this child.
  • Keep your adoption expectations realistic. A child adopted early in life has the same potentials as other children, while those adopted later in life or with medical problems will require more time and patience.  Working with a medical professional at the time of the adoption consultation will help the adoptive parent with more appropriate expectations.
  • Be prepared ahead of time to tell the adoption story. If adopting a baby, it is important to be open from the start about them being adopted. For older children, take pride in telling the story of how you became a family.
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Adding to Your Family Through the Beauty of Adoption

February 18, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Many people adopt children. Some do it because they can’t have children of their own, and others do it because they know that children who don’t have families desperately need someone to love and care for them. When you realize that you really want to adopt, it’s time to start planning. It’s not possible for you to just walk in and adopt a child. It can be costly, and it takes time. When you plan well, the process is often easier and you’ll also have a better chance of knowing what to expect. There are two main issues when planning for adoption: your finances and your home.

You need to consider not just the cost of the actual adoption, but also the cost of raising the child. The agency will look at how much you make, how stable your job is, what kind of debt load you have, and other financial factors that can help them make a determination as to how well you’ll be able to care for an adopted child. It’s not just about money, though. How you’ll treat the child, the size of your home, where the child will sleep, and similar issues will be studied. Most likely, there will be a home visit to take a look around, so be up front about things.

You can get a lot of good information at planningfamily.com, where you can learn more about what’s needed in order for you to adopt a child and what steps you should taking now, even if the adoption is still some time away. It’s always better to be over prepared instead of underprepared, since you don’t want to take anything for granted or make assumptions where adopting a child is concerned. Planning now can save you a lot of heartache and hassle later.

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Adoption Party Ideas and Tips

February 12, 2011 By Leave a Comment

The adoption of a new family member is definitely a time for a very special celebration. New parents can introduce the new family member to family and friends. There are many ways to plan and throw an adoption celebration.

Depending on the timing of the adoption, you can consider combining the celebration with another holiday celebration such as Thanksgiving, Father’s Day or Mother’s Day. You can give thanks for the new addition during Thanksgiving, or celebrate new parenthood on the other days.

If the new child comes from a different country, consider having a theme surrounding that country. Dress up your child in baby costumes from that country and ask guests to do the same. Serve food from the country as well as decorating using that country’s cultural theme. You can even use the same ideas for local adoptions. If the baby is from Texas, consider a Texas theme with chili and cowboys.

You can also consider other themes for the party such as princess parties or teddy bear parties. Take into consideration the age of the child when you decide on the theme, so that it will be age-appropriate.

Ask your guests to bring a letter or other mementos that will be included in the new child’s memory book. Prepare the book prior to the party to include information and photos of the child up to the present.

During the party, use this gathering to share how important this milestone is in your life. You can tell guests about your child and his or her adoption processes. You can also encourage guests to talk about how they were part of the process and how glad they are about your new addition. Consider videotaping this so you can share it with your child as he or she gets older.

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Growing Good Citizens

January 29, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Oscar-award winning actor Richard Dreyfuss is on a mission to teach American kids about democracy. He and his supporters see an urgent need for young people to grasp the fragility and uniqueness of the American way – a country founded on the principle of “government by the people, for the people and of the people.”

The actor and activist created an organization called The Dreyfuss Initiative (dreyfussinitiative.org), a call to action to teach children and young adults the skills they need to be contributing and productive citizens.

As busy parents, we should add civics and history lessons to our family conversations. We need to commemorate Veteran’s Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Flag Day and Pearl Harbor Day – not just with picnics but with discussions about the sacrifices others have made to preserve our union.

Although our nation certainly is not perfect, it is the only country in the history of the world founded on the notion that its people have the right to govern themselves, that all citizens are created equal and have the inalienable right to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

Watch the news or search the internet and you’ll find upheaval, strife, war, the kidnapping, torturing, killing and enslavement of innocent civilians and desperate poverty all around the world. You see powerful and cruel dictators living in opulent palaces while the people are starving and unemployed.

Although the United States has wide gaps between the very rich, the struggling middle class and the poor, its citizens enjoy safety nets and opportunities not found elsewhere. All registered voters can peacefully send a message to incumbent politicians and completely change their government every couple of years.

As John F. Kennedy declared in his inaugural speech 50 years ago, “Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country.”

Your children will be running the country one day – will they be ready?

 

 

 

 

 

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